It’s taken me a while to write this. In fact, I’ve written it several times and then went back, deleted it, and started over. If you’ve been following the news, you may have seen that there’s been a development in my story. The perpetrator was released early, is no longer in prison, and is presently housed in close proximity - 4 miles away - to my parents. Shockingly, my family and I found out after the fact. There was no warning.
It’s simply beyond my comprehension and until now, I haven't written about it, as my feelings have been ALL OVER THE PLACE.
At first, I regressed, I transformed back into that terrified little girl who felt powerless. This was only made worse by the fact that I could not be with my family and even now, do not feel comfortable going home.
The last few days have been filled with fear, anger, tears, and sometimes crazy bouts of “WTF” laughter. I’ve also learned that denial can be downright wonderful. Sure, it might not be the healthiest way to address your problems, but it’s a place of comfort where you can stay until you’re ready to come up for air.
There are times in life where something can happen and it brings you right back to a place where you never thought you could be again. It can make you experience feelings that you thought were nightmares of the past. Sometimes, with no warning, it feels like you have been pushed back into the abyss.
Do not let that stop you. Realize, this hurts and it’s awful, but take as much time as you need, do whatever you need to do, and resurface stronger than ever when you’re ready.
While I am still struggling and working through this, do know that the already powerful fire in my soul to enact change, fight evil, and empower all who are hurting, will only burn brighter and with greater intensity.
Let me tell you, you are so strong and nothing and no one can keep you down or extinguish that light EVER.
✨ Keep on shining. ✨
PS: Thank you to all of those who have reached out to me to offer support, comfort, and love. You have helped more than you’ll ever know.
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